an unscheduled and ungraded post...

To the avid fans who check this blog religously (can I say that?) this post might throw a hiccup into your routine. So this will act as a warning for any OCD sufferers that this might just be a wrench in your meticulous life.

Today I had the privledge of just existing. It is one that I abuse the other 364 days of the year, but today I just was. Lately I have been feeling the strain of this awkward time where there is no class but we are still here. I say awkward because I enjoy this place immensely but its time to go home...for a while at least.

So as I wait things out here I found God calling me back to just spend time with Him. Not in an extremely overt way, through prayer or scripture reading for example, but in reading for pleasure - in writing with the only goal of filling pages upon pages with your thoughts, allegories, and quirks.

With this, God has been calling me back to some of my earlier passions. When you are surrounded by Godly men who are working at furthering the Kingdom in North America you begin to think. I saw the wisdom and knowledge these guys possessed and began to think of myself in their shoes - as doing something like they do. In itself I don't think this is inherently wrong, but I began to try to squeeze myself into the mold of these men and not Jesus. So I wrote off my passion for the Middle East, my passion for adventure, for danger - all in the name of becoming a man of God. But thats exactly where I went wrong, isn't it?

Becoming a man of God is not becoming a man of Mark Driscoll, a man of John Piper, a man of Jim Badke.

In Hebrews it writes of the great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12)and how they act as encouragement so that we can, "(fix) our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith..."

I got so lost in the witnesses that I began to lose sight of the author and perfector.

So maybe I'm not going to wait things out here - maybe I'll spend this next week passionately desiring the Lord of the Universe. I can now say, with more understanding than previously, that He is good. All the time.

Again, to you who have joined me in this rollercoaster, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Jake